Well, here we are, wrapping up week one. Here I am. I am here. So still here. I’m not actually different in any dramatic kind of way. Currently there is nothing that would make you say, “oh, poor thing.” Which is good. I will let you know when I want a little “oh, poor thing.” Feel free to store some of that up for me. 🙂
So Friday was day 3, and it was uniquely odd for me. I woke up distinctly aware that I still had all of my hair and it felt weird, and clumpy and a mess. I believe I’ll be obsessing about it till it’s gone, which I hope will be a relief, to stop–obsessing. The next thing I noticed was that I felt sort of 2-dimensional, flat and pale. As I got up and began doing things, it seemed I was not entirely in contact with what I touched or held, but I no longer felt flat. I felt like a hologram of myself. Which I thought of right then, but tried not to think about because it seemed peculiar and maybe pretentious. Later though, in a phone call to my sister Betsy, when I said I felt like a hologram, she said that was a good description, so I’m sticking with it. Other than that, all would be as you’ve heard it described a hundred times. I don’t feel bad, except for feeling really lazy, which makes me feel like a load. It isn’t zero energy, but close, and in what feels to me to be way low bar on the humorous scale, I am inordinately proud of every tiny thing I get done. So early! Week one for god’s sake and here I am, I achieved getting dressed! Making my bed! Cleaned my bathroom! On a weekend! Wow! . . . Kind of sad isn’t it? Like, what am I, Four? And while I don’t feel hungry, I have so far been able to eat when I’m supposed to. Coffee is terrible, which is so disappointing, but mild foods taste great. Jerry made me Jello, and I believe that this food substance is hugely under-rated, in general. Incredibly edible. Just sayin.’
I have more pictures of the unbelievable autumn we’re having. Brilliant, shinning colors on our shrubs and trees that have never lasted this long before. I mean, it IS Thanksgiving. Tree tenacity that serves as a reminder that our planet is in perhaps as much distress as me. I have a friend here in Cleveland who keeps saying, “Stop exclaiming over how nice the weather is, like this is a GOOD thing! We should be ALARMED!”
I think he has a point there.
Thursday (Day 3 of Chemo) Nov 18 Saturday (Day 4) Same red bush Nov 20
My next post will include pics of me and Rebecca wig shopping. We were going to go today, but the girl has such a busy schedule (Sunday school, Ice competition meeting, her twin cousin’s birthday party) I couldn’t squeeze it in.
We are all of us precious.