We had a big weekend. We just had our Ohio High School Skating Competition, and I so wanted to participate, and I did, as much as I could, and I thought I had it nailed, and I did, almost . If only it had ended when it was supposed to. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
It truly was a lovely weekend. Skate Mom’s still RULE. Because everyone knew my situation and understood, I was largely able to just be there when I could be there, and go home when I needed to not be there. I got Rebecca there on time both days, we cheered for team mates and Rebecca skated her events beautifully. Okay, she fell once, but she did great! Everybody did.
The skaters work really hard, all the time, showing up at the rink to practice when it isn’t easy, when they’d rather be sleeping, and when they know they still have to face homework when they get home. They practice when it’s crowded and there’s no fanfare and there’s no applause. It’s all worth it on weekends like this whether they get the medal, or almost get the medal, or learn what they need to do for the next medal. They all come with their game on, with smiles, and with well deserved pride.
They’ve got this. And they’ve got each other. The real prize is being there.
Here we are in the locker room getting ready Saturday morning:
And here is her entire “What The World Needs Now” team (traveled around the world, she was Spain):
And here is my girl on the podium, and yes, that is a Blue Ribbon Medal around her neck:
And here she is after the event she won no medal for Sunday evening (look at that smile):
I knew I’d get tired, but I’d planned for that and I went home when I needed to. I forgot some things, I made an extra trip or two . . . forgot some other things anyway, and gave myself permission to not be perfect. Yup, I had it all covered. But I forgot one big thing that really should not have rocked me, but it did. The real world. Their timing, not mine. Of course the events ran behind by the end of the second day. Of course they did. Rebecca’s final event started almost an hour late. In and of itself, this was not an issue. I wasn’t shocked or out of sorts over things running late. My earlier “rest-time” was going to be sufficient.
Only it wasn’t. Because it wasn’t just me. My husband was tired, and he was hungry, and he was worried about his mother and whether she was hungry. And when Rebecca’s event was over we had to wait for the results. And then Rebecca needed help packing up. And my brilliant plan to distract my husband and mother-in-law by having them look at professional photo’s of the weekend backfired when neither of them knew the names of the events Rebecca had been in, and they needed help finding them while Rebecca needed help in the locker room, and the numerous, lengthy awards were just starting, and my head exploded. And I threw off my coat and kicked it across the lobby. Like a 4 year old.
And I was doing so well. The week immediately following an infusion is harder than it used to be. Fatigue is more pronounced, my knees hurt all the time, chemo-mouth sores last longer, I can’t taste anything, and decision nullifying chemo-brain is off the charts. I didn’t know how to say, “I want to feed everyone, but Rebecca (unlike me) has been here ALL weekend and deserves to see the Awards. I’m sorry I suggested it, but never mind the pictures.” That would have been simple. Right? It was too hard to put together.
As I write this, I realize I am tired of cataloguing the nuanced changes anyway. I’m tired of being tired, and I’m tired of needing special allowances and special favors. I’m tired of all of this. I am very weary of chemotherapy.
But, I only have ONE MORE TO GO!!!!!! Can you believe I’m actually not going to be Chemo-Girl in 3 weeks? Well, that brightens things a bit. No?